its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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