dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
