I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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