Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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