My room smells like vodka and shame
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
