on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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