i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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