Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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