your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I skipped work to stalk him.
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
