Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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