i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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