whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
