come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
