My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
