Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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