none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
