I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
