That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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