I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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