i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
