If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
