i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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