Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
