its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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