Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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