She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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