is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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