Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
