Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's rum buckets o'clock
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
