Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
