I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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