Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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