We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
me + whiskey = a bad person
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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