No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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