some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My bed smells like the plague
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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