Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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