Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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