I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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