I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
