Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
