I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
