I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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