I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
