i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
