I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
And then he peed in my hair
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