If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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