Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
