Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
