So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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