I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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